Impact Play 101
Last Updated on September 14, 2023

Impact Play 101: Your Guide to Sex That Leaves Its Mark!

Whether you’re a seasoned kinkster or just dipping your toes into the sexy sea of BDSM, impact play offers an exciting buffet of experiences!

From different types of impact play toys to the thrilling sensation of striking your partner’s body (all in good fun, of course), this form of play opens up a whole new playground for you. As long as it’s consensual, safe, and respectful, why not turn your playtime into a pleasure-filled adventure?

Impact play is also about power dynamics. It’s the titillating tension of control and surrender where the mental stimulation can be as heady as a fine wine.

And the masses seem to love it, with a survey of college students revealing that over 60% of women and over 50% of men had fantasized about “being dominated sexually”(1)!

But what is impact play, really? And how can you make it part of your sex-capades? You will learn all this and more in this impactful (heh) guide to one of the hottest activities in BDSM!

What Does Impact Play Mean?

Ever found yourself grinning like a naughty teenager during that spicy spanking scene in a Netflix series or a flogging situation in a steamy novel? Well, welcome to the world of impact play. But hold your horses! It’s not all about a playful pat on the posterior; there’s so much more to explore!

Impact play is a form of BDSM where—yup, you got it right—it’s all about the impact! Whether spanking, caressing with a riding crop, or even playfully using other ordinary tools, like the humble wooden spoon, everything under the consensual sun that deals with hitting for pleasure is impact play.

But don’t forget; this isn’t a free-for-all WWE smackdown! No, you do NOT need to prove how much pain you can endure. It’s all about risk-aware consensual kink, where the keywords are safety, boundaries, and communication.

After all, a dash of pain can indeed open the door to a world of hot and heavenly sex. Just remember your safe word; make it short and sweet!

Why Is It So Appealing?

Impact play is appealing because of how it makes a person feel (the sensation), the delicious anticipation surrounding it (warming up), and the varied intensity of the impact one engages in.


Imagine this: a feather-light touch skimming your skin, raising goosebumps. Now, layer it with the irresistible surprise of a firm slap. Feels like a roller-coaster of sensation play, right?

That’s what impact play does; it tickles your senses with a wild array of feels.

It mixes up the spicy warmth of impact with the sensual strokes in between, creating a titillating cocktail of pain and pleasure that skyrockets your endorphins. Pure bliss, folks!

Warming up

There’s something about the anticipation, the slow, deliberate build-up of heat on the skin, that adds a unique flavor to the fun.

Ever enjoy the thrill of opening presents? That’s warming up in the world of impact play.

It’s the same delicious waiting game, but instead of unwrapping gifts, you’re slowly turning up the heat in your partner’s body.

Flogger in a hand

You start slow, with light taps that gradually ramp up in intensity, until—bam! Your partner is ready, warm, and eager for more.

Thuddy vs Stingy

But hey, not all spanks are created equal!

Some folks are team Thuddy, loving the deep, resonating pressure that feels like a satisfying massage. On the other hand, we have the Stingy Squad, who revel in the sharp, intense sensation that zings right to the skin’s surface.

It’s like choosing between a deep-tissue massage or acupuncture; both intriguing, both different. The fun part? You get to explore what revs your engine!

What Are the Different Types of Impact Play?

Just like the wide variety in our Netflix lists, there’s a whole smorgasbord of choices when it comes to types of impact play. Let’s dive in and see what gets you buzzing!

Hand spanking

Hand spanking is the perfect entry point to sizzling impact play. You don’t need fancy-schmancy impact toys to incorporate spanking in your steamy moments. All you need are two consenting adults and a palm ready for action.

Like, last Friday night started like any other Friday night. Netflix, snacks, and chill. But my girlfriend, the playful minx, kept wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

The next thing I knew, we were getting ready to get frisky in our ‘play’ room. The great thing about this kind of spanking? It’s like the Swiss army knife of pleasure. The power is in your hands, quite literally!

By the way, don’t forget your partner’s body isn’t a drum, and you’re not Travis Barker! Communicate, check in, and adjust the intensity of your play according to their comfort level.

So, to sum up, hand spanking? 10/10, would definitely recommend. Remember, it’s all about the ‘impact’ you want to make!


hottest spanking paddle

Paddling is the risotto of impact play. It’s creamy, satisfying, and it takes some practice to get it right. But once you nail it, chef’s kiss.

And that’s where our trusty paddle from Lovehoney, the Bondage Boutique Furry Spanking Paddle, comes into play.

This bad boy, with its velvety fur on one side and faux leather on the other, makes for some serious fun and varied sensations.

Plus, it looks so innocuous you could leave it on your coffee table, and Grandma would be none the wiser.

The night we brought it into our scene, I could see the sparkle in my girlfriend’s eyes. She was ready for the ride. I, as the dominant, was in control.

And let me tell you, hitting just right is an art form. It’s not about force; it’s about finesse.

Think about it like you’re trying to push the air out of a loaf of bread gently. There’s a certain skill in swinging that delivers an impact that’s more of a thud than a smack. A sensation that radiates deep, warming up the skin and creating an intoxicating mix of pleasure and pain.

And the paddle? It’s an extension of your hand, helping you strike with precision. Plus, its more surface area equals less intensity, so it’s perfect for beginners. Paddling with this beauty? Pure, playful bliss!

And if you like what you’ve read, why not check out the best spanking paddles in 2023 for spank-some sex?

Prices are always changing. To see the current deal to spice things up, check out the shop we recommend!


Flogging is like salsa dancing for your skin – a blend of rhythm, flair, and the right partner. The toy?

Your dance partner. It takes practice to build the right chemistry, but once you do, it’s fireworks, baby!

Enter the Black Rose Beginner’s Flogger from Bondage Boutique.

It’s the Enrique Iglesias of floggers – stylish, effective, and always makes you feel like you’re in a spicy music video.

When we decided to incorporate this into our play, we were stepping into a whole new dance floor.

The multitude of tails that hit the skin creates a sensation that’s like being hugged by a rainstorm – a flurry of soft, impacting drops.

As the dominant, I was at the helm, ensuring each strike on my partner was just right while maintaining our rhythm.

Bondage Boutique Black Rose Beginner's Flogger

It’s not about force but about the consistency and rhythm of the impact.

Communication is key, so we set boundaries. Having a safe word (we chose “pineapple”) ensures we’re both comfortable.

Flogging with the Black Rose? It’s like bringing the sizzle of a Latin nightclub to your bedroom. Engage cautiously; you might forget it’s not a weekend in Ibiza!

Prices are always changing. To see the current deal to spice things up, check out the shop we recommend!


Bondage Boutique Faux Leather Crop

Cropping isn’t just for your Instagram pictures; it’s a bona fide BDSM scene staple!

My partner and I decided to jump headfirst into the experience, and let’s just say it was an E-ticket ride we won’t forget.

The Bondage Boutique Faux Leather Crop from Lovehoney became our new best friend.

Sleek, chic, and with an element of mystique, this crop added the kind of sizzle to our nights that could rival a Michelin star steak.

Now, we had to practice. It’s not about brute force but a precise aim.

If you can point to that hard-to-reach chip in the Pringles can, you’ve got the skill needed for cropping.

And believe me; the risk is worth the reward.

Again, discussing boundaries with your partner before you include cropping into your play is crucial.

If done right, it can deliver a tantalizing sting or a feathery touch, whichever you prefer. Let’s just say we’ve found a new interest, and it’s got a leather handle!

Check out also other BDSM crops!

Prices are always changing. To see the current deal to spice things up, check out the shop we recommend!


Picture a symphony of sensation, crescendoing to the ultimate climax of your scene. That’s caning, folks.

Like a maestro wielding a baton, a little orchestration can create a melody that’ll leave you humming for days.

On one wild weekend, my girlfriend and I decided to dance with the Command Impact Cane.

This bad boy is like the bass drop in your favorite EDM track – expectantly anticipated and unmistakably satisfying.

With a cool metal handle to deliver punishingly good strikes to your person of choice, this 26-inch-long beauty is a convenient impact play tool.

Woman holding the Command Impact Cane

Caning is part of impact play that takes ‘stick and stones may break my bones’ to a whole new, consensual, and thrilling level. It’s an art form that requires finesse and accuracy, much like playing the violin, but with a touch more, well, impact!

Remember, folks, your partner’s well-being is paramount. Always keep a first aid kit handy and follow the general rule of thumb – start slow and low, gradually increasing intensity, like a good DJ building up to that bass drop. Caning with the Command Impact Cane? It’s like composing your very own chart-topping hit in the world of pleasure!

Prices are always changing. To see the current deal to spice things up, check out the shop we recommend!


Leg Avenue Faux Leather Rhinestone Handle Whip

Alright, whip enthusiasts, it’s time to add some sparkle to your impact play!

We’re talking about the Leg Avenue Faux Leather Rhinestone Handle Whip.

This little number is like if Rihanna’s “Diamonds” was an implement in our BDSM toolkit.

When we decided to invite this glitzy diva into our bedroom, we knew we were in for some fun. And, oh boy, it did not disappoint!

The pleasure from the stinging sensation is like sipping on a chilly lemonade on a hot day – sharp, refreshing, and exciting.

The whip’s rhinestone handle adds that pizzazz, you know?

It’s like wearing a shiny accessory to a party, except this party involves your partner’s skin and your skill to deliver perfectly-timed flicks.

A quick note, you might want to start slow, this whip might look glamorous, but it’s not all show.

So, here’s the final verdict – if you want to create a more glittery, thrilling scene in your play, you won’t regret giving this whip a whirl. It’s BDSM with a dash of diamond – what’s not to love?

Prices are always changing. To see the current deal to spice things up, check out the shop we recommend!

Punching & kicking

This ain’t your neighborhood football game or boxing match, but it does require a level of skill, practice, and, let’s remember – consent.

In my personal experience, this form of play can be a wild ride. Imagine you’re hiking, okay? The thrill of the unknown, your heart pounding in your chest, it’s that, but in your living room, bedroom, or your designated play space.

Remember, it’s crucial to understand your partner’s boundaries before you embark on this adrenaline-fueled expedition.

Think of this as the extreme sport of BDSM. Not for the faint-hearted, but incredibly exhilarating for those who crave a little danger.

Punching and kicking offer an intoxicating mix of pleasure and pain, like hot salsa on a cold taco. It’s definitely not everyone’s jam, but if you’re game, it can add a spicy twist to your bedroom exploits.

Other tools

Last but not least, there’s a universe of tools waiting to be discovered and reused as impact play toys: wooden spoons, hairbrushes, or even a rolled-up magazine!

The world is your kinky oyster! Go forth, explore, and find what tickles your fancy. Just don’t risk using unclean or harmful tools; that kind of pain is so not worth it!

Would you like to spice up your impact play? Get some BDSM toys! We’ve selected the finest dominant sex toys and submissive sex toys to make your choices easier.

How to Prepare for an Impact Play Scene?

Think of your upcoming impact play scene like the year’s biggest party. Would you just show up unprepared?

No way, Jose! Here are some hot tips to get your party – I mean, scene – going.

First, talk it out. Communication is key in BDSM, just like when deciding on the playlist for the night.

Discuss with your partner what you’re cool with and what’s a no-go zone.

Next, assemble your toys. Be they floggers, paddles, or just your trusty hands, it’s better to have them at arm’s length than fumbling mid-scene.

Safety is no joke, my friends. Having a first aid kit handy is crucial.

You don’t want a minor accident to kill the mood faster than a surprise visit from your ex at the party.

Woman with tied up wrists and ankles

Finally, establish a safe word. Just like having a designated driver, a safe word ensures everyone can hit the brakes when they want to.

And remember, like any party, the aim is to have fun. So relax, prepare, and get ready to dive into the wild ride that is impact play!

Play Areas

Whether spanking or whipping, where you choose to strike can significantly influence the sensation and intensity of the impact play.

The buttocks and thighs are often the most popular areas due to their padding.

But you can also explore other body parts like the back, chest, or even the soles of the feet. Just steer clear of the lower back, joints, and neck.

Best Positions

Let’s talk real estate – the best locations and positions for impact play. Here are a few fan faves that you can be creative with:


Over-the-knee, or OTK if you’re into abbreviations, is the classic “naughty schoolchild” scenario that works a treat in impact play.

You’re draped over your partner’s lap, a tad vulnerable but secretly thrilled about what’s to come. It’s intimate, cozy, and perfect for hand spanking or small impact toys. Just remember to keep a safe word handy.


Standing is the way to go for those who like to keep things upright.

Leaning against a wall gives you stability, and your partner has a glorious canvas to work with.

It’s versatile, and the freedom of movement adds a dollop of excitement.

Woman in a sexy costume

Bending over a table

Channel your inner starlet in a steamy movie scene and bend over that table, folks! The table offers support and opens you up to a variety of sensations. Whether it’s a paddle, flogger, or good old hand spanking, you’re in for a wild ride.

All fours

Like a primal beast, getting on all fours can unleash your inner wild child. This position gives access to the delicious derriere and even allows for some fun impact play on the back.

Lying down

Two women playing together

Finally, lying down is an option for those who like comfort with their kink.

It’s relaxed, easy, and allows for impact play on the front or back of the body.

For the lazy Sunday afternoon kind of play, you can’t beat this one.

Things to Avoid During Impact Play

Like a wild night out, impact play can be loads of fun. But remember the aftermath of that margarita marathon? Not pretty, right? Well, there are some massive hangovers in the world of BDSM too, and they’re not all tequila-induced! So, let’s talk about the ‘no-go’ zones when it comes to impact play.

First off, let’s bust the biggest myth – more force equals more fun. Nah, buddy, this isn’t a game of whack-a-mole. Your partner is not an amusement park attraction.

The goal isn’t to hit as hard as possible but to arouse and engage your partner. So, forget Thor’s hammer; think more along the lines of an erotic dance, where the rhythm and intensity matter more.

Avoiding certain areas like the lower back, neck, joints, and kidney area is crucial. Aim for the fleshy, muscular body parts; remember, it’s a play scene, not an MMA match!

Communication is key here, folks. This isn’t a silent movie, so keep the lines of communication open. Regular check-ins with your partner are crucial. Silence isn’t golden in the BDSM world, so never assume that no news is good news.

And finally, remember that safety word? It’s not just a funky catchphrase; it’s the emergency exit. Respect it, use it when necessary, and never, I repeat, never ignore it.

So, adventure seekers, keep these ‘not-to-do’ tips in your back pocket as you journey into the exhilarating world of impact play. And remember, keep it safe, sane, and consensual!

How to Be Safe During Play?

The playground of impact play can be as thrilling as an open-bar event, but just like that free-flowing liquor, things can get messy if you’re not careful. Safety is key, pals. I mean, no one wants to turn their sexy time into a 911 situation, right?

Safe words

Imagine you’re playing a video game, and things start getting too chaotic – you’d want a pause button, right? That’s what a safe word is.

It’s like the ‘eject button’ in a high-speed chase, the “ABORT MISSION” code when things get too intense.

Pick a word that has no connection to your ‘scene’, like “pineapple” or “glitter”. Believe me; nothing kills the mood faster than shouting “Grandma’s cookies” during hot BDSM play!

Checking tools before playing

Let’s not forget to check our impact play toys guide before the game starts. It’s like ensuring your roller coaster car is securely fastened before the ride starts. Are your paddles in good shape? Whips not fraying? It’s all fun and games until someone gets an accidental splinter, so don’t overlook this.


Lastly, we can’t stress enough the importance of communication. It’s like the GPS on a road trip. Set your boundaries, decide on your routes (areas to hit), and don’t forget the rest stops (aftercare).

Talk about what’s on the menu before you start cooking, folks. No one wants a surprise chili when they ordered pasta!

What Is the Aftercare for Impact Play?

Picture this: you’ve just finished a marathon of “Game of Thrones,” you’re emotionally spent, your heart’s been on a rollercoaster, and what you need now is a good, comforting bowl of mac and cheese.

That, my friends, is the essence of aftercare in impact play.

After an intense scene, your body’s been to Westeros and back, and your emotions have done a fair share of their sightseeing.

Cuddling couple

Now’s the time to bring it all back home. Snuggle up, apply first aid if necessary, and share some well-earned cuddles.

Remember, aftercare is as integral to BDSM as a satisfying climax is to a gripping drama.

It’s when you and your partner check in with each other’s well-being, emotionally reconnect, and discuss the highlights of your adventurous journey. So, ensure your aftercare game is as strong as your impact play!

For even more information, take a look at our BDSM aftercare guide.


And that’s a spanking good wrap on Impact Play 101!

We’ve gone from hand spanking, paddling, flogging, cropping, caning, and whipping, all the way to the “extreme sports” division – punching and kicking. That’s quite the spankathon, huh?

Remember, each new sensation you tried was a unique spice, adding flavor to your relationship cookbook. It’s all about expanding your palate, and oh boy, didn’t we just add a boatload of new recipes!

Now, whether you’re already a seasoned impact play connoisseur or you’re still window-shopping, always remember: communicate, respect boundaries, and most importantly, have fun.


What is impact play?

Impact play is a part of BDSM that involves hitting (consensually!) for sexual pleasure.

Is it the same as physical abuse?

No, it is not the same as physical abuse! The key difference is consent, boundaries, and the intent of mutual pleasure.

Why do people like impact play?

People like impact play for various reasons, from the physical sensation to the psychological aspects of power exchange. It’s not for everyone, but many find it exhilarating and deeply satisfying.

Do I have to like it to be kinky?

Absolutely not! Kink and BDSM encompass a broad range of activities and fetishes. You can be kinky without enjoying impact play.

How does impact play fit into BDSM & Kink?

Impact play is one of the many practices under the BDSM umbrella, involving power dynamics, trust, and the exchange of control.

How to warm up before play?

To warm up before play, incorporate light and frequent hits to the chosen area to prepare the body for more intense stimulation.

What to use for BDSM impact play?

You can use various tools, from your bare hand to paddles, floggers, crops, canes, and whips.

How to self-belt?

Self-belting involves using a belt to strike oneself, typically on the buttocks or thighs. It requires careful control and awareness of one’s pain threshold.

How to make your impact play more interesting?

You can make your impact play more interesting by experimenting with different tools, incorporating role play, changing the speed and intensity, or trying different positions to add variety.

How to prepare impact play on a budget?

You can prepare impact play on a budget using everyday items like a wooden spoon, a hairbrush, or a DIY paddle.

What is impact play for subs?

Impact play for subs involves receiving hits from a dominant partner. It’s about surrendering control, trusting your partner, and enjoying the sensations.

Why does blood sugar drop from BDSM impact play?

Blood sugar can drop from BDSM impact play because of the physical exertion and adrenaline. It’s important to stay hydrated and have a snack on hand for after the scene.