The 5 Best Squirter Blankets for Protecting Your Sheets
There may be no better way to capture the terror of adulthood than a squirting female ejaculation. Hold on, let me explain.
What I mean is that when all those sex juices and bodily fluids come spurting out, it’s hard to imagine anything better – until you realize you’re not on a waterproof blanket and are making a mess. It’s tough just to enjoy things when you’re an adult with responsibilities!
But if you’re dealing with this issue, finding the best squirting blanket can help. Squirt blankets are a game changer that allows you to go wild in the bedroom long enough to forget you’re an adult.
So keep reading to find my top picks!
Our Hot Picks
Best Rated
Fascinator Throw
The original ultra-plush squirt blanket. Buy now!
Affordable
Quilted Waterproof Squirt Blanket™
Lightweight bamboo makes a stylish addition to any room. Order today!
Luxury
Waterproof Squirt Blanket™
Vegan fleece for comfortable, ethical squirting. Check it out!
To Save Your Sheet From the Sex Juice: Fascinator Throw
As I said earlier, female ejaculation is a beautiful thing. But without the right squirt blanket, it can get way too messy!
I still haven’t told my parents it’s how I ruined their brand new couch in high school! xD
I wish I had known about the Fascinator Throw then.
This squirt blanket has an inner moisture barrier that provides heavy-duty protection from wet spots caused by sweat, lube, period sex, and ejaculations.
It’ll keep your sheets and throw blanket clean and it has this silky velvety texture that my partner and I love (it’s also double-sided for added protection).
Buy this sex blanket if you enjoy plush throw blankets and are tired of having to wash your sheets after you cum or squirt.
Pros
- Priced affordably
- A plush texture that feels way better than towels on the body
- Machine washable
- The blanket is 100% waterproof, so you never have to worry
Cons
- Doesn’t do a good job of absorbing large amounts of liquid and oils at the same time
- This splash blanket makes a slightly annoying noise when you crumple it
Prices are always changing. To see the current deal to spice things up, check out the shop we recommend!
Stain-Proof (Also for Period Sex): Bamboo Waterproof Blanket
I don’t know about you, but when I shop for things like squirt blankets, I want to know what everyone else is buying.
Well, the answer, in this case, is the Bamboo Waterproof Blanket by Yoni Pleasure Palace.
This squirt blanket is perfect for period sex and women and men who cum a lot when the moment arrives.
It’s got crazy good reviews online and is highly rated for its style – it looks like normal luxury bedding when it’s laying on top of your bedsheets.
Buy this sex blanket if you’ve been searching for stain-proof squirt blankets that look as good as they feel.
Pros
- Keeps the bed from getting messy no matter what you do (honestly, we’ve tried!)
- Generally feels super cozy against the body (you and your relationship partner will want to cuddle in it)
- One side looks great as a standard throw blanket for decor when you’re not having sex
- Available in several sizes
Cons
- It’s a more expensive sex blanket than other options
- It’s not the most portable waterproof squirt blanket in the world
Prices are always changing. To see the current deal to spice things up, check out the shop we recommend!
Let the Floodgates Open: Waterproof Squirt Blanket™
So there are squirt blankets, and then there are full-capital SQUIRT BLANKETS. This is the latter.
The Waterproof Squirt Blanket from Yoni Pleasure Palace can hold up to one liter of liquid!
If you produce more liquids than that while having sex, you should literally comment your secret down below because wow.
This is another blanket that’s super cozy and looks great as well, so you can keep it on your bedsheets when it’s not wet or put it in your car to use whenever the idea strikes with your partner.
Buy this squirt blanket if you’re looking for a splash blanket gorgeous enough that other people will comment about it.
Pros
- Its heavy-duty design can hold more liquid than most squirt blankets
- Looks absolutely gorgeous
- Easy to wash – even after making a mess
- It’s priced relatively affordable for double-sided squirt blankets
Cons
- There’s currently only one size available from Yoni Pleasure Palace
- There’s only one color of the silky velvety material available, which can make it tough to match your bedsheets
Prices are always changing. To see the current deal to spice things up, check out the shop we recommend!
For Spontaneous Sex (Also on the Floor): Splash Mat™
If a squirt blanket isn’t enough, you may need the Splash Mat. It provides even greater protection for your bedsheets and flooring with its thick, absorbent material.
That makes it perfect for couples that like boning on the floor, and pretty similar to sex furniture.
The other cool thing is that this is super affordable for what it is.
You’re essentially getting a nice padded blanket that can double as a great waterproof pet mat or addition to your kid’s toy room. It’s tough to beat that!
Buy this waterproof blanket if you want a sturdy squirt blanket that will keep you comfortable during floor sex.
Pros
- Sturdy enough for floor sex
- Doubles as a nice waterproof rug for pets and children
- Made with 100% vegan materials
- Receives very high reviews from customers
Cons
- It can be more difficult to watch than other sex blankets
- The 100% waterproof design is only under warranty for a year after purchase
Prices are always changing. To see the current deal to spice things up, check out the shop we recommend!
For Mattress Protection: Doc Johnson Kink Play Sheet
When you’re taking your partner to the sexual dungeon, they can’t just lay there on regular bedsheets.
You need something built for the idea – and that’s exactly what the Doc Johnson Kink Play Sheet is.
This machine washable sex blanket is designed to set the mood while you’re making a mess.
It easily snaps to your bed with elastic corners and features heat-sealed seams so you never have to worry while enjoying your pleasure.
Buy this squirt blanket if you’re into BDSM and want a heavy-duty splash blanket that can help to set the mood.
Pros
- This splash blanket is machine washable
- Made out of cozy faux leather
- Features extra deep corner pockets to fit even thicker mattresses and bedsheets
- Comes with a 100-day money back promise so you can try the blanket without having to worry as much
Cons
- It’s pretty expensive, even for a high-quality sex blanket
- The faux leather material feels a bit different than standard fleece sex blankets, and you or your partner may not like it
Prices are always changing. To see the current deal to spice things up, check out the shop we recommend!
What to Consider Before Buying a Squirter Blanket?
Alright – so you’ve decided to buy a squirt blanket. Whether you want to buy from Rosie Rees or any other brand, here’s what you should know before placing your order.
Size
Squirt blankets are sold in a variety of sizes. Some are made to match bedsheets (such as King, Queen, and Twin). But others are just sold as “small” “medium” or “large”.
It’s important to check the size of the squir blankets you’re looking at before buying to ensure you get a blanket that can handle the messes of women, men, and everything in-between. Doing so is a game changer because it’ll let you keep making a mess in all the ways you love.
Purpose
You might also want to look at what the blanket is built for. Some are purpose-designed for squirting. Others are meant to be used on the floor or for period sex.
Make sure you consider the kind of mess you want to make on the blanket before buying, because there’s no guarantee otherwise that you’ll find the right one for your goals.
Material
Finally, consider the material that your squirt blanket is made from. Is it machine washable? Can you get it messy with lube and oils without damaging it? Will you and the other person in your relationship enjoy the texture?
These are all questions worth asking as you compare materials. Some will be a better fit for your purpose than others.
Regular vs Squirter Blanket
You may also be wondering whether a squirt blanket is even worth purchasing, or if you can just use a normal blanket. I’ll you from experience, you want the squirt blanket.
That’s because these linens are designed specifically to be waterproof, so they act as towels that basically let you get as messy as you want without ruining your bedspread.
If you try making a mess a non-splash blanket, you’ll have to worry about washing it, potentially staining it, and inadvertently giving it to a family member to use when they come to visit (trust me, you don’t want that).
So the bottom line is that squirt blankets are definitely worth the investment. You can find affordable ones and they let you separate your normal bedding from your crazy sex world, which is a nice distinction to keep.
Conclusion
So, you want to know the bottom line? If you get messy in the bedroom, squirt blankets can be an absolute game changer. They’ll let you enjoy your sex without having to worry about getting a blanket you love wet or stained.
My favorite product on the list is the Fascinator Throw, which I’ve found to be one of the best sheets for sex. But, really, you can choose any of the squirt blankets we’ve covered and end up happy. It just comes down to what you’re hoping to get out of your splash blanket and whether you need to save money while doing so.
But I hope you found this guide helpful! I’ll wrap up by answering a few frequently asked questions about the wonderful world of waterproof splash blankets.
Squirter Blanket FAQs
What is a squirting blanket?
A squirting blanket is a waterproof linen that’s specifically designed to be used during sex. They’re typically stain-resistant and easy to wash so that you can enjoy your pleasure without having to worry about ruining your bedspread.
How does it work?
Squirting blankets work by using waterproof fabric to prevent liquids from reaching your bed. They can help you save money without forcing you to make sacrifices in your sex life.
How do you protect your bed when you're a squirter?
You can protect your bed when you’re a squirter by using a waterproof splash blanket. They create a layer of separation between you and your sheets, so you can enjoy yourself without having to wash your whole bedspread afterward.
When should you use a squirter blanket?
You should use a squirter blanket anytime you anticipate potentially squirting or when you’re concerned about lube, oil, cum, or other liquids staining your bed or whatever else you’re having sex on top of.
One of possible situations in which you’ll need a squirter blanket is when you use a squirting dildo.
What are the benefits of using it?
The main benefit of using a squirter blanket is keeping everything under the blanket safe from body juices.
Where to buy a squirting blanket?
You can purchase a squirting blanket online through Amazon, Lovehoney, Yoni Pleasure Palace, and through other providers.
What are waterproof blankets made of?
Waterproof blankets are often made of coatings like polyurethane and nylon layers. These provide the waterproof protection layer of the splash blanket.
How to wash and dry them?
You can wash many splash blankets from brands like Yoni Pleasure Palace in the standard washing machine. However, some require special hand cleaning, so be sure to check your manufacturer’s instructions.
How much liquid can the squirter blanket hold?
A squirter blanket can hold up to one liter of liquid, depending on the brand that you buy from. Most companies will tell you how much liquid their blanket can hold online in the product description page.
What other uses does it have?
Squirt blankets have other uses besides sex, including keeping the flooring in your pet’s area clean and providing a buffer layer in your kid’s play area to avoid damaged floors from spills.
Which side of the Splash Blanket is warmer?
Both sides of the splash blanket are typically equally warm, as they’re usually made with the same materials on both sides. However, there can be some variation between brands, so be sure to check your manufacturer’s information to confirm.
Can I sleep with a squirter blanket?
Yes, you can sleep with a squirter blanket, but you probably won’t want to do so if you’ve just had sex on top of it.
Fascinator Throw
Prices are always changing. To see the current deal to spice things up, check out the shop we recommend!
Pros
- Absorbs all sorts of body fluids
- Affordable
- Easy to wash
Cons
- Smaller than other blankets
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