How (and Where) to Hide a Vibrator?
Whether it is to spice up your sex life or just for your own pleasure, odds are you have at least one if not multiple sex toys. Of course, along with it, there’s accessories, cleaners, or lubes as well.
Having sex toys has become common practice. Whether you want to admit it or not, most people have them. It is one sure-fire way to spice up your love life or keep you happy until you get one.
One inevitable problem we come across when it comes to our toys is finding a place to hide them.
If you have nosy siblings, parents or worse….children, finding a good place to hide your toys or toy chest is essential.
Trust me it is all fun and games until your child comes running out of your room waving a vibrator around… Or your little sister ends up wearing your nun costume for Halloween because you can’t explain why it’s hanging in the closet.
Don’t worry she wore a black shirt and pants to hide the fact that it was see through. It can, however, make for some awkward trick or treating (Sorry PTA moms). To avoid these awkward moments, we have found some clever ways to hide your sex toys.
Imaginative Ways To Hide Your Sex Toys
Depending on the size and number of toys you own, you may have to use your imagination to keep your naughty little secrets from being discovered.
You don’t necessarily need to have a spare room or closet dedicated for housing your best sex toys, but hey, if you’re into that kind of thing…Call Me! We can be friends! Here are some great secret hiding places you should try.
For One or Two Intimate Toys
If you are just starting your sex toy collection or have found that one is all you need, finding a place to hide your toy should be easy.
There are literally places to hide things all around us. Think back to your teenage years and remember all the things you hid from your parents.
Do you remember how you could make just about anything into a hiding spot? You will need that kind of imagination for this.
A Sock
In an effort to keep things simple, hiding your panties vibrator in a sock inside or in your underwear drawer have been tried and true methods for decades.
I know that is where I discovered my mom’s “best friend” when I was a teenager. That was the last time I ever attempted to borrow socks from my mom.
As you can see, there are some problems with this method. Especially if you have teenagers who are always losing their socks. (Bad Dobby!) For these kinds of circumstances, you might have to get creative.
Tampon Box or a Tissue Box
This one is usually a safe bet. The last thing most normal people will do is look through a tampon box.
Of course, there are those unique individuals that might have a strange urge to check out your tampons, odds are that whatever you may hide inside of it will stay hidden.
A Brush Handle
For your more slender vibrators, a brush handle is a discreet way to keep them out of sight. With a quick and easy Google search (incognito mode if you want to be sneaky) you can find many different types of brushes that have a handle specially made for hiding things.
The hollowed handle makes it easy for you to slide your vibrator in and close up the end.
It is a great way to hide your toys in plain sight. Just make sure no one ever borrows that brush.
A Roll of Toilet Paper
If you have a cabinet or pantry in your bathroom, it is probably where you store your toilet paper. Since most people will gran whichever roll is closest, hiding your sex toy inside one of the rolls furthest from reach is a good idea.
Just make sure you never run low on toilet paper and your secret will stay safe.
Sneakers
You know those running shoes you have hidden somewhere in the back of your closet. You know the ones you bought when you decided you were going to get in shape? There is a way to finally get some use out of them.
Just slide your sex toys inside of the shoe and bury them under other shoes or put them in a shoe box to keep your toys safe from prying eyes.
It’s not like you are going to go running any time soon so there is no reason anyone will ever see what’s inside them.
Between Your Mattress and Box Spring
Sticking your toys in between your mattress and box spring is another trick that has been around forever. It keeps your toys within reach while making it more difficult for them to be discovered.
As long as your toys are on the smaller scale you won’t even notice they are there. Your toys stay protected and you get peace of mind.
For A Handful of Sex Toys
To hide a handful of toys, accessories, and lubes you will need to find slightly larger hiding places.
You have the option of hiding them all in different smaller places but if you have a knack for losing things, it is best to keep everything together.
Nothing kills the mood like having to play hide and seek with your vibrators.
Old Speakers
For those hoarders out there, you may have the perfect hiding places just laying around your house. Old Hi-Fi speakers make great hiding places.
The holes cut out of the back of them give you easy access to whatever you hide inside. These speakers range in sizes, allowing you to hide a single toy or your entire toy chest. You can always say they hold sentimental value.
Travel Toiletry Bag Or a Gym Bag
These bags are great for hiding all kinds of things or so I learned from my ex-boyfriend. They are small enough to stick anywhere and usually come with many different pockets for all your travel necessities.
I’m sure we all can agree that your favorite toy is a travel necessity.
When you aren’t traveling, you can stick the bag under your sink in the bathroom or in your closet. It is one place that people don’t often check. You can cover it with your toiletries, wrap it in a wash cloth, or even hide your toy in a travel toothbrush case inside the bag.
Stuffed Animal Pouch
This one may seem strange to readers, but for those young adults who still have stuffed animals scattered around their rooms, their pouches make great hiding spots.
Seriously, how often does someone think to check a stuffed animal for hidden treasures (I bet more will after reading this)? It is a discreet hiding spot that won’t look out of place or stand out among all of your other decors.
For smaller toys, such as bullets, vibrating eggs, or cock rings, the pouch of a stuffed animal is a perfect size.
There are plenty of stuffed toys that come with pouches so before you go violating Winnie the Pooh, look for one designed with a pouch in it (Kanga might be a better option).
An Old Purse On Top Of Your Closet
If you are anything like me, and I am willing to bet that you are, you have at least five purses shoved in your closet that you have no intention of using.
Now, you can give those old purses a purpose. Your toys can easily fit inside your purse. If you need more room, you can always use another purse.
They will be safe at the top of your closet where little ones can’t reach, giving you some peace of mind.
Hollowed Out Book
Take a cue from Andy Dufrane and use a hollowed-out book as a place to conceal your playthings (toys not people).
There are some available online or you can make it yourself if you have giant books laying around that you don’t read.
It’s best to use books that you know no one will read like the dictionary or Twilight’s New Moon. You will find that you can fit more than you think in a book and it might make you look smarter (depending on the book).
For A Larger Collection of Sex Toys
Take a cue from Andy Dufrane and use a hollowed-out book as a place to conceal your playthings (toys not people).
There are some available online or you can make it yourself if you have giant books laying around that you don’t read.
It’s best to use books that you know no one will read like the dictionary or Twilight’s New Moon.
You will find that you can fit more than you think in a book and it might make you look smarter (depending on the book).
Suitcase
If you have a larger collection of toys, finding good places to hide sex toys can get a little trickier. A suitcase in the back of your closet or under your bed will allow you to keep your play things together.
There are multiple pockets where you can hide things and most come with or can accommodate a lock.
A Hollowed Out PC Tower
An old pc tower can be hollowed out to store quite a bit of stuff. You can fit your toys, accessories, and lubes in it without worrying about any of it being found.
The tower doesn’t take up a lot of room and can be hidden in a closet, under a bed, or if you normally have computer parts laying around, you can have it sitting anywhere in your room.
A Tool Box With Padlock
Hiding your tools of pleasure in a tool makes perfect sense. For added security, you can attach a padlock to it and carry the key with you at all times. It is a great way to keep people out.
However, if you are dealing with especially nosy people a locked box will only peak their curiosity and you might want to find something a little more subtle or keep it hidden.
A Filing Cabinet With A Lock
It might seem a little unusual to keep your dildos filed away with last year’s tax papers, but it is a place that very few people will ever look at.
You can hide your toys in the back of the drawers and keep them locked for added security.
For The True Experts in Storing Sex Toys
Those of you who have been at this for a while or are eager beginners may have collected a much larger array of toys.
There is nothing wrong with variety and experimenting is always fun, but these collections can be harder to hide. HAVE NO FEAR!
Take it from me, there are still plenty of places to hide your instruments of pleasure.
Bedside Drawer, Stackable Drawers, Storage Containers or Boxes
IKEA is a great place to find stackable boxes and drawers in all different sizes. These are great for storing a larger quantity of toys, lubes, costumes, and whatever else you may need.
You can stack them next to your bed, on your closet, or stick them under your bed. If you throw a piece of fabric over them or stick a lamp on top of it, these stackables can make a great bedside table as well.
An Ottoman or Trunk
A large ottoman or trunk fits nicely at the end of your bed or can be hidden in a closet. These can offer more storage space for those with a bigger collection.
Inside one of these, you can fit all kinds of wonderful things and keep things accessible for when you need them.
Hide Sex Toys Under The Bed Storage Boxes With Wheels
Under the bed is a great place to store larger collections of toys and accessories. Large storage boxes with wheels make it easy to keep your toys out of sight while allowing them to still be accessible.
Discreet Sex Toys
You always have the option of looking for more discreet toys as well. There are vibrators of many different shapes and sizes for you to choose from.
There are also vibrating panties. If you have seen The Ugly Truth, you will remember how important it is to make sure the remote doesn’t get into the wrong hands.
Opting for these types of toys will make it more difficult for people to recognize a vibrator when they see one.
It will not, however, make you feel less awkward when someone picks it up and starts waving it around.
Now that my kids are all either adults or teens, I don’t try too hard to hide my toys. I have more of a Enter At Your Own Risk when it comes to my bedroom.
The best way for them to keep from seeing something that may extend their years of therapy is to just stay out.
There is no reason you should have to be ashamed of owning sex toys. I don’t recommend showing them off at family gatherings but you shouldn’t stress out if at some point your toys are found.
Considering you probably don’t have strangers rummaging through your stuff, whoever may find them should know you well enough to not be surprised if they stumble across a vibrator pillow or whatever else they may come across.
Who knows you might find you have more in common than you think.
Wherever you decide to hide your toys, it is important to make sure they are in a clean place to keep dirt and germs off of them.
It should go without saying, but remember to clean your toys before putting them away.
