How to spice up your marriage guide
Last Updated on May 11, 2023

How To Spice Up Your Marriage

When you get into a new relationship, it’s all butterflies and good times at first. Everything is exciting, so being romantic comes a lot more naturally. And the sex? *whistles* Absolute fire.

But then the honeymoon period blows over, and you settle down into a loving, comfortable partnership. You’re juggling jobs, chores, kids, and your social life all at the same time.

If you and your long-term significant other are struggling to rekindle your romance amidst your busy lives, you’re not alone. We all have limited time and energy; unfortunately, our intimate relationships are often the first casualties of our busy lives.

The longer you’re with someone, the more you come to realize that love isn’t a feeling – it’s a choice that you have to make every day. So if you’re wondering where those feelings of love and excitement went, and you want to spice your marriage up, all you have to do is to look within yourself.

As with anything important in your life, you have to make the conscious choice to take care of your relationship. Your love and sex life will thrive if both parties put in the work.

To help you bring sexy back, here are 9 ideas on how to spice up your marriage!

Meet For The First Time...Again

Do you remember how it felt to meet your spouse-to-be for the first time? Here’s one way to spice up your love life: you can recapture those intense emotions by role-playing a second meet.

Go to a bar a few minutes apart, then try to pick them up as if they’re a stranger. Have fun flirting and getting to know them all over again. Exchange flirty glances from across the room, buy them a drink, or ask them for a dance. And don’t forget to get their number…or invite them back to your place for a little fun.

It can be absolutely thrilling to look at your partner with fresh eyes. There’s a reason why you were attracted to them in the first place – this simple exercise will remind you about all of the things that you love about them while letting you bond over a new-but-familiar experience.

Share Your Fantasies & Make Them Come True

Is there something that you want to try in bed, but you’re embarrassed or unsure of how your partner would react? Bring it up anyway! If it’s important to you, hearing you out is the least your SO could do.

And who knows, your spouse might be more than willing to try new things. But you’ll never know unless you ask.

Plus, you should never discount the power of communication as foreplay.

Talking about the kind of sex you want is a good step towards spicing up your marriage.

Even if you don’t jump into kinks and role play right away, simply having a conversation about your fantasies can get both of you in the mood.

Just make sure to keep the conversation low stakes and no-pressure. Neither you nor your partner is required to do anything that you don’t want to do! Just talk about it first, keep an open mind, and see where it goes.

Naked bondage woman marriage

Wake Up Your Partner By Giving Them Oral

For some people, there are few things more arousing than slowly rousing from sleep and discovering that your partner is already getting busy down there.

Not only does it make you feel sexy and desired, but it’s also a good excuse to just lie back and enjoy the pleasurable sensations without any expectations to reciprocate.

But while waking your partner up with oral sex (see the best queening chair guide) can spice up the marriage, it’s not for everyone. And even those who do like it may not like it all the time. The most important thing is to get their consent first.

Now, it’s difficult to get consent from a partner who’s asleep. But you can talk about it the night before and get permission. If you want to keep it seemingly spontaneous, ask them if they’re willing to be surprised one of these mornings. Give them a timeframe, like in the next 2 weeks or so.

That way, they’ll at least know it’s coming…they just won’t know when!

Have Naked Days At Home

Spicing up the marriage doesn’t have to be a grand gesture or major change. Even the simple act of being naked can increase your attraction, desire, and intimacy!

It might feel a bit vulnerable at first, especially if you haven’t been fully nude around your partner in a long time. But if you bare yourself to your partner (literally), you might feel closer than ever before.

You don’t even have to change anything about your routine. Go about your day as normal, except for one thing: no clothes allowed.

That means you do your chores naked, watch TV naked, walk around the house naked, and scroll through your phone naked.

And make sure to get some naked cuddling and kissing in there – there shouldn’t be any demands for sex just because the clothes are off, but we can’t guarantee that things won’t get too hot and heavy to handle….

Just one warning: be careful about cooking naked! Order takeout instead, or at least wear an apron or something.

Naked woman in black lingerie

Try New Positions

We all have our go-to positions that we know get us off. But if you keep pulling the same moves time and time again, your passionate sex life will quickly turn into a predictable sex routine. You’ll want to keep it fresh and exciting by constantly looking for new ways to spice up your marriage sexually.

Some people do it by exploring BDSM, incorporating role play, or maybe even inviting a third (or fourth, or fifth….) person into the mix.

But if you’re wondering how to spice things up in the bedroom without venturing too far out of your comfort zone, try adding new positions into your repertoire (and see best liberator shapes). The Kamasutra and world of tantra have some great ideas to spice up a marriage!

You could take it even one step further. Whenever you have sex, make it a point to do something new every time. You don’t have to scour guide books for weird contortions, just do what you feel like doing at that moment. Trust your gut, and be safe!

Meet During Lunch & Have Sex Anywhere But The Bedroom

One of the best things a woman can do to spice up the bedroom is taking the sex out of the bedroom altogether. Choose a day when you know your workload is light so that you can run home for a quick, guilt-free lunchtime rendezvous (see the best hotel for sex).

Then, do everything you can to avoid the bedroom for your tryst. Having sex in a new space is a good way to switch things up, and both of you will get off from the rush of doing something so taboo/naughty. Plus, it’ll encourage you to get more creative and try something you normally wouldn’t!

Make Your Bedroom More Romantic

Here’s an easy tip for how to spice up your sex life. Set the stage for romance with special bed sheets for sex, and you’ll be more likely to take it all the way.

Ask yourselves, what kind of environment makes you feel sexy?

For most people, that could include candles, dim lights, sensual music, and soft sheets. It might even involve lingerie! But everyone has their own kinks and preferences, so do whatever feels good for you.

You can also find more romantic bedroom ideas guide.

Go To The Sex Shop & Buy Sex Furniture

Discover the list of best erotic furniture for a fulfilling sexual experience, especially if you’re having trouble in the sex department.

After all, you don’t want to blow hundreds or thousands of dollars on something you’re not going to use.

But in our experience, having sex furniture encouraged us to be more intimate. It provides tons of support for weird positions, so you won’t have to worry about breaking your back trying to emulate the Kamasutra.

And the different angles might lead you to discover new levels of pleasure you didn’t know were possible.

Many people are intimidated (or embarrassed) by walking into a sex store, but it’s a good thing that in-person shopping is no longer the only option you have.

There are plenty of online shops where you can order sex toys (see the best toy mount) and furniture discreetly.

The biggest problem you’ll have is that there are just so many different types of sex furniture to choose from make sure to check out our best sex chairs reviews to narrow it down to the best.

Sex Toys Teddy Bears Marriage

Learn The Basics Of Tantric Yoga

Spicing up married life isn’t just about improving the connections between you two, it’s also about improving your connection to yourself. If you want to be a good partner and lover, you need to be a whole and happy individual.

Tantric yoga teaches you how to harness your sexual energy and understand yourself better. Sure, there are physical benefits like fitness and strength, but the biggest draw is spiritual growth.

You’ll come out less stressed, more confident, and likely, more ready to connect sexually with your significant other. Read more about tantric massage here and tantric sex here

Go to a Swingers Club

Another way to spice things up is with involving other people into your sex life. You can read about the best swingers dating apps or visit one of the swinger clubs in the USA


Many of us spend so much time and energy searching for someone we can spend the rest of our lives with. Sadly, the longer you’re with someone, the harder it is to keep things fresh and exciting in the bedroom.

We hope these tips will help you spice up married life and have healthier, more satisfying sex with your spouse!