BDSM Roleplay Ideas to Spice Up Your Sex Life
Okay, I am not going to start this article by saying that “BDSM stands for bondage, discipline, dominance, and submission, sadism, and masochism…” and so on. We’re past that – I hope.
Instead, I am here to give you more insight into different kinks, common fantasies, and BDSM ideas and activities that you can try with your partner.
But before all of that, I want to emphasize exactly what most of the BDSM community will tell you anyway. These ideas are meant to be practiced by consenting adults. It’s either a hell yes or a hell no.
And if you’re saying “hell yes”, then I am happy to welcome you to this piece where I give some good examples of the best BDSM scenarios, and explain why role-playing Edward Cullen might be at least a bit sexier than you think.
What Are the Roles of a Submissive and Dominant in BDSM and Which One Am I?
The roles of a dominant and a submissive are complementary roles in a kinky dynamic – a dominant partner gives rules, commands and punishments, whereas the submissive partner is the one receiving them.
What is a dominant in BDSM?
A dominant in BDSM is a person who has control over the other person – consensually, of course.
What is a submissive in BDSM?
A submissive partner in a BDSM dynamic is a person who consents to be dominated during a session.
Am I a submissive or dominant?
You don’t need to be exclusively submissive or exclusively dominant. You can also be a switch. If you are unsure, you can explore both roles with your partner, and find out:
- what works for you,
- what feels natural,
- what makes you most comfortable.
Total Power Exchange
If you are interested in kink outside of the bedroom and want to incorporate your BDSM relationship into your everyday life, a total power exchange relationship might appeal to you.
People in total power exchange relationships live their dominant and submissive roles 24/7. This doesn’t work for every couple.
Kinky Roleplay Ideas
Porno
Not gonna lie – it’s super hot to film or be filmed by your partner and pretend like you’re a pornstar.
No acting resume is needed.
King/ Queen & Slave
Perhaps you want to worship your partner – and not just because they’re an amazing person and pay half the rent. The idea of worshipping them turns you on. Try out the King/Queen and slave roleplay. Sounds silly, but it’s a lot of fun.
Teacher & Student
Did you have a hot teacher in high school or college? I did. So this roleplay idea goes without saying. Remember to put effort into your homework this time.
Boss & Employee
If you’ve seen the movie “The Secretary”, you know exactly what I am talking about.
Imagine that your partner is your boss, and you’re late for work for the third time this week.
You’re in for a good scolding.
Vampire & Victim
What can I say… If you’re a Twilight fan, I’ll leave you to figure out the rest.
Considering this, I have a lot more respect for Edward Cullen.
Maid & Hotel Guest
“Hello, room service?”… Sure, this sounds like a cliche, but it’s a classic for a reason.
Imagine staying at a five-star hotel, the maid coming to clean your room only to get your bed dirty again with you. Yes, please.
Dominatrix & Slave
This classic BDSM roleplay involves a female-identifying dominant and a submissive. It’s not any different from the roles being reversed.
Except that if you or your partner is a dominatrix, they get to wear awesome outfits while spanking you.
The Stripper
Buy your partner a nice thong and some stripper heels, throw money at them – and proceed to have sex on top of it.
I suggest not using large bills though, unless you’re loaded.
The Police Officer & Hooker
An undercover police officer – a very sexy one at that – offers you fifty bucks for a handjob. And you just know you’re gonna be in trouble afterward – but in a fun and consensual way.
Doctor & Patient
Ah yes – another classic trope among the potential BDSM scenes.
But trust me, it can be quite hot – and also offers an opportunity for indulging in various sex toys and a medical fetish.
And if medical fetish is your thing, consider building a whole medical fetish themed sex room.
Caregiver & Little
Definitely one of the more taboo kinks on our list. However, if you’re open to it, you might not want to start it off by telling dad jokes.
Kidnapper or Burglar & Victim
Your partner – disguised as a burglar – breaks into your house to steal your favorite sex toy. But maybe they want to use it on you first.
But they’re going to tie you up first – which is a great opportunity to explore fun bondage ideas.
Owner & Pet
Pet play is a surprisingly common kink. This fantasy commonly comes to life through puppy or pony play.
And if you’re curious, most fetish retailers sell pony play gear. Get started.
Our Favorite BDSM Scenarios
- You’ve been assigned detention by the hottest math teacher at your school. Little does the teacher know, you got this detention on purpose – since you have the hots for him or her. Expect to receive lots of spankings with a ruler.
- Pretend like your partner is a sexier version of Edward Cullen – one that doesn’t sparkle like a cheap pair of earrings from Claire’s. And instead of your blood, he is here to suck your clit. No more advice is needed.
- You’re under arrest – for forgetting to wear panties under your short skirt. Good luck, this police officer will place his baton in a place where it doesn’t belong.
- Imagine that it’s your first day as a porn star, and it’s your very first shoot. You’re shy, and your partner is filming you, complimenting and worshipping your body – followed by rough sex. Who says that the dominant one can’t be sweet?
- It’s Valentine’s Day, and after opening your kinky Valentine’s Day presents, you’re at a romantic candle-lit dinner with the love of your life. However, instead of regular candles, you have set the table using sexy BDSM candles. The dinner is then followed by intense and hot wax play where you’re dripping hot wax on your partner’s torso and feet – while following the proper safety precautions, of course. And this temperature play isn’t going to be complete without the use of ice cubes. Thank me later. And take a look at other BDSM Valentine’s Day ideas.
BDSM Activities to Include
Submissive tasks
Dominants tend to give submissives tasks during BDSM play. These can be anything from worshipping their partner’s body to using a sex toy on themselves – to being tied up and gently tortured with nipple clamps.
This is an opportunity to explore various BDSM ideas and make your fantasies come true with an enthusiastic partner.
BDSM punishments
A BDSM punishment is exactly what it sounds like – a punishment given to the submissive by the dominant. This can involve something physical such as impact play – or even an emotional punishment, such as humiliation.
Erotic spanking
Spanking is one of the most popular forms of BDSM roleplay – at least in the mainstream media.
Erotic spanking can be done with a spanking paddle, a flogger, a riding crop, or even with an everyday household item.
Remember to stay away from golf clubs or your partner’s tennis racket – and consider buying them a sexy BDSM gift instead.
Impact play
Impact play involves being hit by an object – with consent. Common tools to use in impact play include floggers, paddles, riding crops, and whips.
Bondage
Bondage play is intended to provide sexual pleasure through tying up and restraining your partner.
This can be done with cuffs, bondage rope, or even bondage tape.
For cuffs specifically, I suggest that you take a look at our favorites.
If you’re not sure what kind of bondage rope to use, we have great suggestions for you as well.
Breast Bondage
This can be done for sexual or aesthetic purposes – and it’s exactly what it sounds like. It involves placing some rope around your or your partner’s breasts, decreasing blood flow. Hot tip: incorporate nipple clamps into your breast bondage session.
Positions
You can experiment with various positions with bondage play, and even try suspension. It can be incredibly sexy, but also meditative. If you’re a beginner, you can get started with bondage using our guide.
Mummification
Mummification is an extreme kink that involves the immobilization of the submissive partner. It’s usually done by completely wrapping them in bandages and latex until they can no longer move. Take proper precautions with this kink.
Sensory deprivation
This can be done by blindfolding your partner – or depriving them of other senses. It can be a part of sensual domination, but can also involve the dominant partner being rough.
Brat taming
Brat tamers are dominants who discipline and punish their disobedient submissives.
You can get very creative with brat taming and incorporate things such as orgasm denial, impact play all over the submissive’s entire body with various toys – and even more extreme kinks such as wax play, temperature play, or bondage.
Body worship
With body worship, the submissive kisses, licks, or shows worship towards different body parts of the dominant. The most popular forms of body worship include cock and pussy worship and foot worship.
Cuckqueaning/cuckolding
Surprisingly many people have the fantasy of seeing their partner have sex with someone else.
This is called cuckqueaning or cuckolding depending on whether you identify as female or male.
And please don’t choose the third member to fulfill this fantasy from your friend group.
Things are guaranteed to get awkward that way.
Orgasm control
This involves the dominant partner controlling the orgasms of the submissive. Orgasm denial can be followed by forced multiple orgasms – making the wait worth it.
Anal play
We all have seen an anal plug, but these toys are only one form of anal play.
Butt stuff offers the potential for more things than that, including rimming, using fingers – and even inserting a heated dildo in your partner’s butt to practice temperature play in a new way.
Edge play
Edge play is the type of BDSM that goes against the safe, sane, and consensual (SSC) principle.
This can include anything from sex acts that may cause physical harm such as breath play, knife play, gun play, needle play, scat play, and barebacking just to name a few.
Edge play can also be mental, such as age play or fear play. If a person practicing edge play is aware of the risks, the activity is called risk-aware consensual kink aka “RACK”.
Humiliation
No, this doesn’t mean that you need to remind your submissive of the time they threw up during their middle school talent show.
Humiliating your submissive is a psychological BDSM play where you can call them names, expose their body and make them perform degrading acts – as long as things are mutually consensual.
Needle play
Needle play is quite extreme – and is exactly what it sounds like.
With this BDSM act, erotic pleasure is derived from piercing the skin with needles.
This act should only be done with the help of experienced and knowledgeable BDSM enthusiasts who know what they are doing – and keep things sanitary, so stay away from using your sewing kit.
Pony play
Much like puppy play, pony play is becoming more and more common among kinky folks. Take your partner – I mean your new pony – for a ride. In more ways than one.
Facesitting
A great way to take oral sex to the next level. Facesitting is a lot of fun, no need to say more. It can also be a form of light BDSM for newbies.
Knife play
Knife play is an erotic play involving cutting with a knife.
It can be very dangerous, and participants should be aware of the risks involved and take as many precautions as possible.
Fisting
Sounds extreme, but fisting is a kink for a lot of people in the BDSM community. This can be either vaginal or anal fisting – and should only be done when using a lot of lube.
I’m talking about enough to drown your partner in it – but please don’t do that. With fisting, you should also always try to take things as slowly as possible. As if you were a snail.
BDSM Roleplay Tips
Safety First
Sex and kink are cool and fun, but always remember to prioritize the safety of yourself and your partner. This involves taking proper precautions when acting out any scenes.
Your physical and mental well-being should be your top two priorities.
Communication
If you have a kink or a fantasy that you want to fulfill, communicate this to your partner. Set boundaries.
Let them know what you’re comfortable and uncomfortable with, and similarly remember to respect their boundaries. Ask questions – and most importantly, remember to include a safeword.
Checklists
A BDSM checklist is much like a grocery list – just hotter. You can think of it as an itinerary for all of the things that you’re looking forward to tonight. For more information, please take a look at our ideas for a great BDSM checklist.
BDSM contracts
A BDSM contract is a written agreement between two participants. This contract describes and outlines of the power exchange, its limits, and other regulations agreed upon by the participants.
Develop your roles
Much like you as a person, your BDSM persona and role are subject to change and character development – if that makes sense.
You may discover new kinks, and preferences and get curious about new stuff. No need to restrict yourself to a specific role – understand that this may be fluid, much like your partner’s role.
Use costumes and accessories
Especially if you’re curious about BDSM role play involving a teacher, a doctor, or a police officer – costumes add to the fun.
Most sex shops or fetish stores have a great selection!
Stay in character
Or try to. Sometimes it’s difficult, and it’s completely understandable if you find the situation funny and start giggling.
But staying in character tends to keep things slightly sexier. It can be a little bit awkward to have a hot police officer giggle while trying to handcuff you.
Be open and go with the flow
Keep an open mind – especially when it comes to your partner’s preferences. Let them express themselves sexually, as long as they respect your boundaries.
Talk about each other’s sexual experiences openly without judgment, and discuss ways to make your fantasies come true. Additionally, understand that not everything appeals to everyone – and that’s okay too.
Conclusion
If you’re interested in exploring BDSM as a part of your sex life, I hope this article provided you with some ideas for scenarios that you’d like to try out.
And if you’re already living in a BDSM relationship, whether you enjoy switching with your partner – or are in a 24/7 total power exchange relationship, good for you.
You can also incorporate some of our ideas into solo play if you’re curious – and this is also a great way to get started with your kinky journey.
Good luck, stay safe, always remember consent – and clean up after your orgasms.
FAQs
What is BDSM roleplay?
BDSM roleplay is a situation involving two or more people who act out a sexual fantasy. A lot of the time this involves dominant and submissive dynamics.
What is a BDSM scenario?
A BDSM scenario is a fantasy coming to life. This is a situation where you and your partner(s) have agreed to perform a kinky act, whether it is role play, indulging in a fetish, or something else.
Discuss your ideal scenario before acting it out, and don’t surprise your partner with a realistic horse costume out of the blue.
What are BDSM sexual activities?
BDSM sexual activities are sexual acts that involve an element of bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, or sadism and masochism.
This can be anything from acting out a fantasy, having a dominant and submissive dynamic, or simply a bondage session with no sex involved.
What kind of activities are included in good BDSM aftercare?
In good BDSM aftercare, you recover from a BDSM scene with your partner and take care of each other’s physical and emotional well-being. This can include anything from cuddling, sharing a snack, talking, and reassuring your partner of your love for them.
How to set up a BDSM scenario?
To set up a BDSM scenario, let your imagination run wild.
Come up with a situation or a BDSM scene that both you and your partner find hot and sexy, find the perfect accessories, toys and costumes you want to use – and let your imagination run wild.
Remember to always take proper precautions. Pick a safe word that’s easy to remember, and listen to your and your partner’s body.
What is safe, sane, and consensual BDSM?
Safe, sane, and consensual BDSM is the type that abides by the fundamental principles of BDSM. It is commonly abbreviated as SSC. This means that all the activities should remain safe, each participant is in a healthy mental place and all people involved consent.
How to torture a slave?
To torture a slave – consensually – you can incorporate the use of a cock cage or a chastity belt if chastity play turns you on. Other ideas include impact play, temperature play – done safely, or even anal training.
How to be dominant?
To be dominant, you should have control over your submissive – in a consensual manner. This includes giving punishments, coming up with rules, and indulging in a power exchange.
Dominant sex toys might help you to stay in the role.
How to be submissive?
To be a submissive, you need to communicate your needs and limits to your partner. During play, follow the orders given by your dominant – but please don’t shy away from using your safeword if necessary. Safety and comfort first. And maybe some submissive sex toys too.
