How to Get Sperm Out of Your Body Fast

Jump around, jump around, jump up, jump up, and get down. Don’t worry, queens; there are more ways to get the sperm out quick with no sport or athleticism involved. Sex was enough of a workout, am I right?

Let me remind you, getting sperm out fast WILL NOT, I REPEAT, WILL NOT PREVENT PREGNANCY. BC and condoms are the only ways of doing that, short of surgical methods.

I would also like to remind anyone who still believes in the pull-out method. We are not 16; let’s be smarter, people! So unless you go with natural or surgical methods, do not use any of my random advice as a form of birth control because, as you know, I am a sex writer and love sex.

However, I must be clear there is no scientifically proven way to remove it. Just all the divas in the world working together to find ways thats somewhat work. And this Diva is going to share her methods. Why am I speaking in the third person? The answer is I have no idea.

Ok, ready for a crazy fact, once semen enters the uterus and fallopian tubes, it can stay there for up to 7 days just chilling, gossiping about life, and sharing all the T.

Most women or people with vaginas spend a lot of their late teen and young adult lives, honestly, most of our lives worrying about unwanted pregnancies? So let’s get to how to remove semen from the vagina. We will cover medical advice and the random funny and unrealistic proposed techniques.

How to Clean Your Vagina After Sex

Umm, baby cakes, your vagina is self-cleaning. I’m not saying have some nasty dirty sex and then never shower your vag again.

I just mean, don’t go in with a luffa and some hardcore soap. Just wash your vaginal area gently using mild unscented soap.

I get that you feel it’s the next thing to tick off, you’re “Oops, I did it again, unprotected sex” checklist.

But trust me, boo, it will only cause damage later on. So definitely avoid perfumed soaps. But feel free to use warm water.

In fact, using soap can mess with your PH balance, giving you a shitty yeast infection or UTI. And no one, and I mean no one wants one of those. For hygienic reasons, yes, wash but use mild unscented soap!!

Some people may consider douching the vagina, which involves squirting a jet of water into it with a shower douche or bottle. However, doctors do not recommend douching under any circumstances. Research suggests that it reduces (1) the number of healthy bacteria in the vagina, potentially leading to various health issues.

Ok, now for what might feel like the gross part

You know that stuff we feel come out, or we joke about spitting or swallowing. Although some of this may contain sperm, it will mainly consist of a mixture of proteins and vitamins.

So even getting rid of that won’t get rid of the “so-called semen”, so basically, jumping up and down doesn’t actually work. But neither does squirting a jetskii-level squirt of water up your hoo-ha.

After Sex Tricks That Just Don’t Work

Peeing: Let’s squish this rumor right now; peeing is not something thats helps with preventing pregnancy, but it sure as shit helps prevent a UTI.
Taking a bath: The logic behind a bath makes sense, but the water won’t reach your uterus. So feel free to have a bubble bath to relax or get clean. No sperm will be joining you in that tub.
Vinegar: Some people believe that putting vinegar into the vagina may kill sperm. These people have lost their minds from too much vinegar douching due to vinegar’s high level of acidity. There is literally no scientific evidence to prove this. And it can, in fact, cause some very unpleasant side effects. Say it with me “NO INSERTING VINEGAR.”
Jumping up and down: We talked about this, but I will say it again. Girl, stop jumping!

While researching this topic, I came across some of the most insane google searches about preventing pregnancy. Literally so outrageous I would feel like an asshole not sharing at least a few.

Can Advil prevent pregnancy?

Just the tip? If I just let the tip in can i get pregnant?

Will a Coka Cola vaginal douche prevent pregnancy?

I literally couldn’t make this shit up if i tried. So, in short, you’re welcome!

Birth Control Options to Prevent Pregnancy

There are many ways to prevent pregnancy. Condoms are not the only form, but you already know that. This includes some game-changing birth control methods, removing the worry and anxiety around removing semen.

Speak to a healthcare professional to get a more detailed understanding.

Hormonal methods: Hormonal contraceptive method includes the combined pill, intrauterine hormonal devices (IUDs) and the mini pill. All these methods differ in what hormone it produces and how it’s administrated. Still, they all contain the same hormones that typically prevent ovulation by thickening the cervical mucus, which blocks even powerful swimmers. Helping prevent pregnancy.
Nonhormonal birth control methods: A few nonhormonal methods of contraception are available if you’re not too keen on adding any outside hormones to your body (More than we already do) or anyone who can’t. These are options like diaphragms, nonhormonal IUDs, condoms, or female condoms; yes, they exist.
Natural methods: Some people may choose natural methods, such as abstinence, but let’s be honest, f**k that!
Surgical methods: This is a lot more extreme, but also extremely necessary for some people for health reasons. This would include tubal ligation, a form of tying your fallopian tubes. There are even more permeant and drastic measures which usually only occur for medical emergencies.
Get a DR to prescribe emergency contraception: Also known as the morning-after pill. Some countries and states will sell it at the pharmacy without a prescription, just a mini pharmacist consultation.

Food and Supplements to Get Rid of Sperm Fast

There are certain supplements or foods in your diet or taken after that have been rumoured to help get rid of sperm. Major emphasis on the word “rumor”.

There is little evidence to support this, and there is no scientific proof it can prevent pregnancy. But I thought, we already came this far, so why the hell not share.

Food

Papaya: Apparently, it doesn’t allow fertilisation if eaten for 4 days after unprotected sex

Ginger tea: People incorrectly believe drinking ginger tea every day and have no unwanted pregnancies? Wow, people fall for that?

Supplements

Quinine: This is an anti-malaria drug. The anecdotal evidence suggests it can remove sperm.

Vitamin C: Vit C interferes with the hormone “Progesterone”, So they said it will prevent conception. They are wrong!

The Semens Journey and Why It Can’t Be Killed

Ok, the male body’s semen is a mix of fluids, minerals, vitamins and sperm.

The sperm is the male reproductive cell, and it’s coming for your eggs. I am not a science teacher, so don’t throw rotten tomatoes at me. If I suck at this.

The sperm enters a small hole called the vaginal opening no, not the vulva.

Somehow it gets confused with the vagina. Is female genitalia that confusing?

The sperm goes through the vaginal canal in a z formation to your cervix. Just kidding, it goes at top speed, so at least 1 female’s egg can be blindsided, and the sperm gets in right at the last moment without rejection. This is luck, but it just takes a few minutes to score a goal.

Yes, the male sperm is a thirsty ass bitch tryna claim your eggs as his. As mentioned before, sperm will stay inside you for several hours after intercourse and thats just the minimum.

Conclusion

As you can see, there are many different approaches, rumors and downright dangerous suggestions. I’m looking at you, cola douche. In short, sperm will leave our body naturally.

Many women and people with vaginas have tried many options before deciding what works for them. But as you see, there are a few ways to avoid the panic altogether by using different contraceptives. But it’s really about people’s preferences, and comfort level.

The most important thing is to always get the appropriate medical advice. Don’t take health advice from crazy people on the internet. Yes, me included. So how to get sperm out of your body fast? GO SEE A DOCTOR! But read this blog post in the waiting room. You can, in fact, have it all!